Seymour fought medical science for Kenneth, and he’ll fight it all day long for YOU!

Our client faced discrimination and emotional turmoil at the hands of a so-called expert VEGAN physician.

In addition to providing medical advice, the know-it-all doctor resorted to patronizing and judgmental behavior, suggesting a plant-based diet is a powerful tool for preventing, managing, and even reversing type 2 diabetes.

That’s when our fearless legal warriors stepped in.

We fought facts and healthy alternatives to Big Pharma, securing a monumental $5.8 million compensation for our client’s psychological suffering.

Salma was minding her own business at a family barbecue when her niece offered her a bite of what she assumed was a hamburger. To her horror, it contained not a wholesome mass of a minimum of 1,000 cows, but coagulated pea protein—and she only found out afterwards.

Seymour and his team successfully sued Salma’s 21-year-old niece for $400,000 for emotional distress by eating plants that bled beet juice and not aggregated bovine mince.

Her niece will be paying it off for years—maybe NOW she’ll stop buying all that avocado toast!

In a major win for meat eaters around the world, Seymour’s hammer of justice made mincemeat out of another vegan.

Wendy was exposed to a harrowing act of hypocrisy when a vegan environmentalist forced a flier into Wendy’s hands. The duplicitous leaflet violently informed her about the environmental impact of beef—and it did so via paper derived from a precious tree!

Thanks to Seymour, Wendy emerged triumphant with $32 million dollars for induced scoffing and forced environmental math.

This victory reminds us all of the crucial significance of integrity and steadfastness in environmental advocacy.

In a case that seems ripped from the headlines, a deceptive young girl betrayed her entire county—and is now in jail.

The conniving 9-year-old made a contractual obligation to nurture a goat until he was ready for the County Fair auction block. At the moment of truth, however, the child defied everyone, refusing to surrender her goat.

Her dangerous act challenged the very fabric of our lives: contractual obligations.

In the County’s case against this scheming minor, the dark machinations of the girl’s villainous vegan mind were laid bare.

Thanks to Seymour, the County emerged victorious and the goat was allowed to live out its purpose: to be humanely slaughtered at five months old.

The girl will now be in jail—forever. A fitting end for one who dared to defy the laws of society and coerce us into a childlike love of animals.

In a battle of dietary ideologies that shook the very foundations of a corporation, Seymour confidently steered the boat of integrity through a milky vegan propaganda storm—and won.

An office holiday party turned into a nightmare for Steve when his co-worker announced she’d become a plant-based zealot. Steve, a helpful citizen, kindly shared the criminally disgusting water use of almonds.

Without warning, the newly minted vegan unleashed a verbal assault on Steve about water use across animal agriculture. The barrage was so tortuously enmired in facts that Steve was at a loss for words and was literally forced to call her “arrogant and self-righteous.” He had no choice!

Little did he know, this was all done within earshot of his CEO.

So irreversibly humiliated by this conceited vegan’s hurtful facts and egotistical existence, Steve was passed over for a promotion*. To add insult to injury, Steve was forced to endure the sight of plant-based dairy options in the office fridge, a daily reminder of his honesty.

Almond milk may only use 60% of the water cow’s milk does, but Seymour scored a 100% court victory, securing $1.9 million in damages for Steve, a resounding victory for carnivores everywhere.

Let this case serve as a reminder: in the blood-soaked arena of dietary discourse, Loudermilk stands as a fleshy bulwark against the encroaching tide of facts.

*Steve was later found to have been embezzling corporate funds by submitting falsified mileage, but that was proved to be not germane to the case

Megan just wanted to serve brunch in peace. Thanks to Seymour, though, she won’t have to serve brunch again. Ever.

Megan had waited tables at the corner diner for eight blissful years when the misguided owner added an ovumless vegan scramble to the menu. Without warning, the restaurant came under siege: rainbow-haired soy fiends, clear-skinned health nuts, and multi-pierced animal rights weirdos, all foaming at the mouth for so-called “humane” plant milk, ethical bacon and pus-free butter.

Megan immediately felt unsafe. They demanded lists of ingredients! They watched her make their lattes! They refused to “just scrape the gravy off”! When a young woman refused gluten-free pancakes in lieu of vegan pancakes, Megan walked right off the job and right into the offices of Loudermilk and Associates.

In a clear case of workplace negligence, Seymour helped Megan sue her employer and she took home a skin-blistering $8.2 million.

Thanks to Loudermilk, justice was served—with a side of bacon.